And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
