Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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