Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
