and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
