I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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