You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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