i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
