ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
we're chasing vodka with high fives
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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