What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
