Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
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