I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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