She went from zero to smokin in five shots
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
