nut hugger
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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