im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
