I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I CAN MOONWALK!
smell my finger.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
