Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
