after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize