I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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