I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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