I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
