The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
