Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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