We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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