I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
She's the barista slut.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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