"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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