I hate your face
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Sponge bath it is.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
