this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
