And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
