I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
