I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
