I am spending my child support on dildos
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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