Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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