he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
