he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I am available for nakedness
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize