Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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