Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
