I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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