you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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