woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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