How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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