Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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