Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
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