My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
