So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
