you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
