So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
you're hired as official boob wrangler
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
