Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
