She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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