I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Randomize
