You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
