i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
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