JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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