I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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