You work out of a Hotel?
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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