This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
What drink are we having for lunch?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Holy sore nipples Batman
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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