Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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