i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
