Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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