I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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