Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
