the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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